Going to be published!
Mar. 23rd, 2012 07:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mistajSo I'm going to be published in Mensa NoW magazine June issue :)
Here's the article for those who are interested:
The Ambiguity of Acquaintances
I was caught in a very odd social situation recently, and my mind decided to analyse it on paper, so here it is!
It is a celebration of a one year anniversary of a couple. Friends of one or both of the couple are invited. Due to the closeness of the couple and the compact nature of the social scene, a few people arrive who have not been formally introduced to everyone present, though they may have seen some of them before.
Adam and Brian attend the party together. Adam has known both members of the couple for a few years longer than Brian, who only arrived in the town two years ago. They are seated at the end of the table, with the couple next to Adam, and a friend (Carla) of one member of the couple next to Brian. Brian attempts to initiate a greeting with Carla, but no indication that he is heard is given. Carla moves along a bit, showing her awareness of Adam and Brian’s arrival, however no conversation or other response is forthcoming.
An hour or so later, Adam enquires whether or not Brian has been introduced to Carla, and admits they were contemplating an introduction but were uncertain if any previous attempts had been made. Brian confirms that they have indeed been introduced to Carla, and further they have a small basis of casual intimacy from two years previous. The matter is settled. An hour or two later, conversation turns to something universal, and Carla makes an open acknowledgment of Brian’s presence by responding to something he says. Once the response has occurred and conversation moves on, Carla returns to once more ignoring Brian.
The reason behind this behaviour could be very simple or rather more complex. Brian has arrived with Adam, and thus it could be seen from Carla’s perspective that they wish to talk alone, however observation of their conversational habits with others would not confirm this theory.
Alternatively, Carla has attended with her partner, Daria, who is sat at the other end of the table. It could be that when Carla turns her back to Brian, she is not consciously blocking him out, merely giving more attention to Daria, who is higher up on her priorities for the evening.
Conversely, it could be a conscious decision to turn away from a previous partner, especially in front of a current partner. If Carla has negative feelings towards Brian, she would be disinclined to show familiarity or behaviours which could be interpreted as friendliness/friendship, especially in front of Daria.
From the point of Brian, his own lack of social interaction with Carla could be a reflection of, and reaction to, her refusal of acknowledgement at the onset and the continued ignoring of them for the duration of the engagement. As Brian originally attempted to greet Carla and was shunned or not acknowledged, he could interpret this as either an indication that Carla wants no further involvement even on a polite social basis; or they could be mildly offended at the rudeness of the act and thus be disinclined to attempt to further engage Carla in conversation.
The situation between Brian and Carla concluded with Carla and Daria leaving, without acknowledging the presence of either Brian or Adam. Once Carla has left, Adam then has doubts over their own friendship with Carla, following this course of events. Prior to this social engagement Adam had a defined idea of what their involvement with Carla was, however, after the lack of social niceties shown by Carla at the time of their departure, Adam is left slightly confused.
Further conversation with Brian offers some explanation - the history between the two could be an indicator of why Carla chose not to say goodbye, however now Adam is left wondering whether their friendship with Carla has suffered due to his proximity with Brian.
It could be assumed that this confusion will be alleviated the next time Adam meets Carla without Brian or Daria present to influence her behaviour..
Here's the article for those who are interested:
The Ambiguity of Acquaintances
I was caught in a very odd social situation recently, and my mind decided to analyse it on paper, so here it is!
It is a celebration of a one year anniversary of a couple. Friends of one or both of the couple are invited. Due to the closeness of the couple and the compact nature of the social scene, a few people arrive who have not been formally introduced to everyone present, though they may have seen some of them before.
Adam and Brian attend the party together. Adam has known both members of the couple for a few years longer than Brian, who only arrived in the town two years ago. They are seated at the end of the table, with the couple next to Adam, and a friend (Carla) of one member of the couple next to Brian. Brian attempts to initiate a greeting with Carla, but no indication that he is heard is given. Carla moves along a bit, showing her awareness of Adam and Brian’s arrival, however no conversation or other response is forthcoming.
An hour or so later, Adam enquires whether or not Brian has been introduced to Carla, and admits they were contemplating an introduction but were uncertain if any previous attempts had been made. Brian confirms that they have indeed been introduced to Carla, and further they have a small basis of casual intimacy from two years previous. The matter is settled. An hour or two later, conversation turns to something universal, and Carla makes an open acknowledgment of Brian’s presence by responding to something he says. Once the response has occurred and conversation moves on, Carla returns to once more ignoring Brian.
The reason behind this behaviour could be very simple or rather more complex. Brian has arrived with Adam, and thus it could be seen from Carla’s perspective that they wish to talk alone, however observation of their conversational habits with others would not confirm this theory.
Alternatively, Carla has attended with her partner, Daria, who is sat at the other end of the table. It could be that when Carla turns her back to Brian, she is not consciously blocking him out, merely giving more attention to Daria, who is higher up on her priorities for the evening.
Conversely, it could be a conscious decision to turn away from a previous partner, especially in front of a current partner. If Carla has negative feelings towards Brian, she would be disinclined to show familiarity or behaviours which could be interpreted as friendliness/friendship, especially in front of Daria.
From the point of Brian, his own lack of social interaction with Carla could be a reflection of, and reaction to, her refusal of acknowledgement at the onset and the continued ignoring of them for the duration of the engagement. As Brian originally attempted to greet Carla and was shunned or not acknowledged, he could interpret this as either an indication that Carla wants no further involvement even on a polite social basis; or they could be mildly offended at the rudeness of the act and thus be disinclined to attempt to further engage Carla in conversation.
The situation between Brian and Carla concluded with Carla and Daria leaving, without acknowledging the presence of either Brian or Adam. Once Carla has left, Adam then has doubts over their own friendship with Carla, following this course of events. Prior to this social engagement Adam had a defined idea of what their involvement with Carla was, however, after the lack of social niceties shown by Carla at the time of their departure, Adam is left slightly confused.
Further conversation with Brian offers some explanation - the history between the two could be an indicator of why Carla chose not to say goodbye, however now Adam is left wondering whether their friendship with Carla has suffered due to his proximity with Brian.
It could be assumed that this confusion will be alleviated the next time Adam meets Carla without Brian or Daria present to influence her behaviour..
