Addiction prose

[mistaj]

My old flame is strangling me. What used to complete me is now tearing me apart. My core quivers… my mouth is unmoistened…  my eyes roam but find no focus. My previous love is calling out to me, pulling at my sleeve or occasionally tripping me up.

            Things were simple back then. I knew how I felt and it was a state of knowingly ignorant bliss. I saw my companion whenever I wanted and that happened to be daily. We would revel in one another’s oceans, always fighting against unseen currents. The days would fly by unseen. Flowers bloomed and withered before our unseeing eyes. We had only eyes for our mirrored selves – viewed from a reflection in each other’s eyes.

            And then one day our paths diverted from the road we were travelling along. Alarm bells were sounding everywhere, and unseeing hands were trying to separate myself and my beloved.

            Words were discreetly moved into our world. The world stopped turning, and all that seemed right became subtly altered until they then seemed wrong. I started to have second thoughts about the mutual addiction that passed for the relationship I was in.

            One day I hit breaking point. I realised that my lover would eventually kill me. Most areas of my life had already been ruined seemingly beyond repair, and something important was now at stake.

            It had to happen slowly, or else my love would suspect something and try to fight back. But slowly, ever so very slowly, the connection between the two of us started to weaken. And after a few months, it could have been a dream.

            Two nights ago my world was turned upside down again. I had an encounter with my previous fan. And now, from the inside, I can feel the connection once more. But my will is not broken. This is a battle I must fight many times. And I know that I will win, even if right now my old flame is strangling me.